Slaughter Symphony: Kirk Odd VS Resignation Spongebob

“True horror is the coming undone of something good” - Steven King


Nickelodeon, a brand synonymous with children’s media, giving the impression it was made not just for, but by that exact age demographic, and yet, these two have slipped through the cracks and are out there to reveal the horrifying truth about Nick.

Kirk Odd, the monster from another world, seeking to steal the souls of all those in Orlando.

Resignation SpongeBob, the overworked worker lashing out at his company.

These two hijack the well-known network many times over, so the question becomes, if they encountered each other, who would come out on top? Well let's find out in our first episode, of Slaughter Symphony!

Before We Begin

Content Warning: This blog will contain blood, gore and swearing, so if you aren’t comfortable with that stuff, I advice to stop reading.

Since we’re dealing with two Analog Horror characters from non-profit organizations, things could get messy with stuff like FNF or Sonic.EXE scaling, especially for Kirk so I’ll limit things a bit more… though for the record, I will use some of them for images just so they’re easier to visualize, just remember they aren’t quite what he has pulled off in ‘canon.’

For Resignation Spongebob, I’m specifically aiming for the videos from Marshwalker4 and the original written creepypasta from LafawndaPasta, who originally made the videos of, and creepypasta the work was respectively, while for Kirk Odd, I’m going off of specifically what Siesmo made relating to the Noedolekcin Archives, including both the original and remake of the series, since I don’t think they change up that much. I’ll also include info from his villains fanon wiki profile, since Siesmo himself did work on it.

Also, just for a bit of fun, I will consider some of the unique visuals in the videos as abilities both of them have, similar to the Cursed Woody VS Woody.EXE blog. Kirk especially is noted to be able to warp reality via hijacking Nickelodeon, so it’s reasonable to assume some of the otherworlds effects he can pull off are actual abilities, and it’s only fair to assume the same for Resignation Spongebob.

Oh, and credit to DBE and Death By Blog for the stats of Spongebob and Timmy respectively

Introduction

Kirk Odd

"Someday, you'll regret what you've done to me. JUST WAIT AND SEE!”


1997, Planet Eden, a highly advanced counterpart to our home, Earth, home of the Other Kinds, a species with spiritual powers. From here, our story diverges between two tales. One of a horrific parasite, and one of a horrific scientist.

Crank P. Oddum, a scientist with a fascination with distant planets like our own, classified as illegal experimentation to the rest of the species.

Crank P. Caddel, who had to take care of his younger 11 year old sister… most likely a prior Kate Odd, after the death of his family, which he had tried to distract and forget by taking the drug, Noproxis R.

Both instances led to him being driven mad, never eating, sleeping, bathing, merely staying within his apartment, until one day, he snapped, killing 12 of his kind and harming 30 others, leading to him being exiled and sent deep into space, floating around for months, until he landed within Universal Studios Orlando, not far from it’s Nickelodeon Studio building.

From there, Nickelodeon played, celebrating the new year, while Crank started to change, either through an orange blob attacking and consuming him, or the parasite consuming him. Regardless, Crank was dead, and Kirk was born.

From then on, Kirk hijacked Nickelodeon stations, and escaped them to attack others, and trap them within the bodies of the cast within. His most infamous murder being Jenica Wakeman, trapped within the robotic shell of XJ9. At some point, he would capture every soul in Orlando and use it for conquest, but it’s not permanent. Some day, he will be defeated and peace will be restored… that day will come, but for now, all we can do is pray it will come soon.

Resignation Spongebob

"You are all so goddamn negative all the time, day after day hour after hour you're always upset expecting better. I wish you would for once shut your mouth and act like a decent human being for once in your life, think of the poor kids you brainwash with your festering attitudes, I'm ashamed to even be in the same room- no. The same planet as you are! Oh you poor poor baby, poor pitiful you, sad over the truth? You are an adult acting like an infant and it makes me sick.  Well boo hoo! Fuck all of you! Fuck it all! You're the reason art is DEAD. You're all the reason I relapsed! I'm done...  Ugly sick , disgusting, abhorrent, horrid- you make me want to vomit!"


In July 2009, Nickelodeon was airing a marathon of Spongebob, but something was… off. Some episodes end abruptly as another takes its place, others skip several minutes ahead, and most of all, SpongeBob would look uncharacteristically angry. These in particular would lead to others contacting Nickelodeon, as the culprit revealed himself with one final message, one direct middle finger to the company he worked alongside, as glass objects broke and other objects were thrown in the background. This was the work of Armond Rapheal Ramsay, a former employee who quit Nickelodeon, and was arrested for four years and fined for 2000 dollars on the 19th, just two days before the event started, ending the quick outrage.

Skill and Intelligence

Kirk Odd

While the exact number of kills he has gained isn’t specified, due to just how many there are, Kirk has been causing murder for years, with it starting in early 1998, and the most recent kill being in July 4th, 2007, equating to almost ten years worth of kills, not even mentioning his age of over 6000 years. Even before he descended onto Earth, he killed off a dozen members of his species, otherkinds as well, alongside harming 30 others. It’s also worth mentioning that prior to his role of Kirk Odd, Crank used to be a scientist, and one who used to already perform experiments on Earth in the original timeline, though whether Kirk retains some of this knowledge or not, I cannot say with certainty. He is stated to have high intelligence though, and is shown to be pretty manipulative, constantly trying to have both Nickelodeon characters and humans join his side alike, so I think it’s likely. He also managed to hijack a PSA from Nick bringing up the very issues he caused.

Resignation Spongebob

There’s not as much to speak on in terms of what Arnold has done. He has hijacked Nickelodeon within two days, and used to work on the show prior, likely as an animator or storyboard writer of some kind, though his exact combat experience is very limited.

Equipment

Kirk Odd

Kirk doesn’t normally carry around equipment. He occasionally wears a suit to parties, but outside of that, he doesn’t really need any weapons, he can do just about everything with his natural abilities.

Resignation Spongebob

Pen

As a storyboard artist, Arnold can use a pen to write things.

Abilities

Kirk Odd

Otherkind Physiology

Art by THE1935FOXGAMER

Kirk is no creature from our world, but rather an Otherkind, a brainy alien from a distant world with connections to spiritual powers. This might be where some of Kirk’s soul based powers stem from, however it also makes him naturally intangible and imperceivable to other humans, which is how he ended up becoming Kirk in the first place. Kirk’s also pretty dang tall at 13 feet for his natural form.

Hacking/Hijacking/Reality Warping

Kirk’s main and most common ability is to hack into and hijack Nickelodeon for his own personal desires, leading to many, many incidents of unnatural occurrences on Nickelodeon that the people on the network have to deal with. This is actually referred to as Reality Warping by the way. This also can affect the credits of other shows, as shown here, though I’m not sure how to specify this as an ability.

Immersion

Due to his nature, Kirk is capable of being within the Television and can escape and interact to the real world beyond it.


Soul Manipulation

Kirk’s primary goal is to capture and collect the souls of others and trap them within vessel of other Nickelodeon characters. This is what he did with Jenica Wakeman, to send her into the body of XJ-9, and similarly, he says that he will give the viewer the vessel of Timmy Turner

4th Wall Awareness/Social Manipulation

Thought that wasn’t creepy enough? Kirk has also messed with Siesmo’s own video descriptions, hacking into the one for July 25th, 2005, despite the video itself being uploaded after this. Kirk also can speak to the audience watching and send subliminal messages to them, perhaps even hypnotizing them.

Shapeshifting

Art by Dark Fate

Kirk is capable of altering his form in a lot of ways, most infamously as the original orange Nick figure, and similarly he can wear a disguise of a human persona known as Keaton Osborn.

Teleportation

Kirk seems to be capable of spontaneously appearing within the otherwise vacant void using television static, or just fading into reality. He can also do this with others, like Gabor and Jenica.

Darkness Manipulation

Kirk can naturally cause this similar darkness to occur within other landscapes, as shown here within the credits of Little Bear.

Transmutation

It seems that Kirk can turn the logos of other shows into his own wardens, as shown here when Splaat turns into Gabor. That said, this could just be a disguise the warden is capable of, though even without that, Kirk similarly caused Spongebob to melt, and Chucky’s face to vanish.

Pyrokinesis

At the end of the incident on July 26th, 2005, Kirk set the Krusty Krab, and likely all of Bikini Bottom, a flame, despite the series taking place underwater. It is worth mentioning that in the original creepypasta the incident was based on however, this was an act of SpongeBob's careless insanity that led to the Kitchen burning down, meaning it’s possible this wasn’t a direct ability Kirk had performed, though again, he has similarly caused flames as soon as a commercial break ended.

Insanity Inducement


Judging by the results of the recent Got Milk Error, Kirk seemingly drove Patrick mad, and he similarly did something to Spongebob in the Secret Box Error, potentially meaning he can do the same with others, especially given how dumb Patrick normally is.

Duplication

As if making Wardens wasn’t enough, Kirk can also create about five floating heads of himself.

Sound Manipulation

Kirk and his Wardens can produce a very loud sound.

Dream Manipulation

I don’t recall this happening in the series, but Kirk is said to be able to manipulate dreams.

Time Manipulation?

There do seem to be some moments where music or sound effects stop or loop, possibly meaning Kirk has some manipulation of time, though in a lot of these instances, characters can still interact with other objects normally, making this debatable.

Resignation Spongebob

Hacking/Hijacking/Reality Warping

Much like Kirk, Arnold is capable of hacking into Nickelodeon and its other channels.

Time Manipulation

It’s said that when Arnold hacks into an episode, it will stop on a still image for a few seconds, and he can automatically skip in the middle of one episode to another.

Sound Manipulation

During one of the hijacks, screaming was heard, forcing Nickelodeon to have to try and cut out the scene.

Blood Manipulation

Somehow Arnold made the advertisement screen bleed.

Battlefield Removal?

By the end of the initial hijack, Arnold cuts from Bikini Bottom to a blank page, possibly being a form of Battlefield Removal of some kind, though it’s hard to say since this clearly isn’t animated and while he does seem to have control over this world as a writer, it’s difficult to give the realm an exact size of any kind.

Allies/Wardens

Kirk Odd

Gabor

The Warden of Gluttony, Gabor is not very intelligent, and is more akin to a wild animal, eating all the Nicktoons he comes across.

Hypsypops

The Warden of Lies, he’s a heavy contrast from Gabor, where he will manipulate the target into much more dangerous actions, saying that they are a liar and a fool, and can fog up the mind.

Skinner

The Warden of Insanity, Skinner can shapeshift into others to trick characters into being someone they know.

Other Wardens

There exist three other Warden’s thus far, Wraith, Oizys and Handyman, the Wardens of Fear, Grief and Labor, but I’m not sure what they can do to be honest, since they haven’t made an appearance in the series.

Resignation Spongebob

Art by Tailsfangut2

Spongebob doesn’t actually have any allies. He does the whole hijacking thing alone.

Stats

Kirk Odd

Strength

Durability

  • Can seemingly casually survive energy to rip flesh and possibly bone apart

  • Survived crashing onto Earth from Eden

    • Earth is said to be a distant planet, meaning it should at least be comparable to the distance between the Centauri System at 4.367 light years, and Kirk’s Trip took at least a year, given how he landed on Earth during new years 1998, and the murders he caused to lead to him getting sent away occurred in 1997, meaning the ship had to travel at FTL speed, so Kirk could theoretically tank 93% Light Speed, or 278806985.94 m/s. While his mass isn’t known, assuming he weighs as much as a human at 62.1422 kilograms, this means he tanked 2.4152602e+18 Joules/577 Megatons of TNT. This is Debatable however, given how Kirk is a spiritual entity that can’t interact with physical objects, so it's hard to say how much he weighs, if anything at all.

Speed

  • Moved towards the screen in no time.

    • To be more specific, it takes two frames for Kirk to get that close. Considering the size of his head from the first frame to the last, and how the video plays at 30 frames per second, he can move at 84.5367 Meters Per Second

Overall

  • Responsible for killing Countless Victims. Aren’t we all?

  • Briefly took over the world


Resignation Spongebob

Strength

Durability

  • Survived getting hit with his racket.

  • Likely scales to Strength


Speed


Overall

  • Hijacked Nickelodeon.

Scaling (Debatable)

Both Kirk and Arnold have pulled off basically every feat within their series, meaning it’s debatable to scale them to many of the other characters, though I will still try.

Kirk Odd

Spongebob

Art by StrawMellon

The main star of Nickelodeon, Kirk has been trying to attack Spongebob for a while and easily threatens him, meaning he likely upscales from the little square dude.

Jenny Wakeman

Or more specifically, Jenica Wakeman, Kirk’s infamous victim that has tortured her for years.

Timmy Turner

It’s implied that Kirk killed Timmy, and will use his body as a vessel for his next soul.

Junior

Kirk basically ate Junior during one of his hijacks, so he likely scales to her.


Resignation Spongebob

Spongebob

Art by DH-Artz

Since Arnold has drawn on SpongeBob’s face before, it’s possible he can possess him and scale to him.

Weaknesses

Kirk Odd

Kirk may be smart, but he is also pretty sadistic, having an immense hatred for children and humans. Similarly, while he may be old and wise, he doesn’t have any experience fighting someone with comparable stats or high willpower. He mostly just targets helpless kids. He’s also more reliant on haxes than physical stats.

Resignation Spongebob

Arnold has basically no combat experience whatsoever. He’s not a killer, just a guy fed up with how Nickelodeon treated him, and as such he doesn’t have that many abilities or high stats in general, making it questionable how well he would fare in a fight.

Summary

Kirk Odd

“What is stronger than thE humAn hearT, which shatters Over and oveR anD stIll livEs? Me.”


Strength:

  • Superhuman (684.44 Kilojoules)

Durability:

  • Superhuman (684.44 Kilojoules)

Speed:

  • Subsonic (84.5367 M/S)

Abilities:

  • Darkness Manipulation (Town Scale)

  • Fire Manipulation (Local Scale)

  • Soul Manipulation (Individual Scale)

  • Duplication (5 Copies)

  • Shapeshifting

  • Madness Manipulation

  • Dream Manipulation

  • Transmutation

  • Immersion

  • Reality Warping

  • Metafictional Manipulation

  • Possible Time Manipulation

Skill:

  • D+ Grade

Range:

  • Dozens of Meters, possibly Universal

Intelligence:

  • Modern Genius, likely Type 1 Genius

Stamina:

  • Likely Limitless

Weaknesses:

  • Sadistic

  • No experience in fighting someone comparable

Advantages

  • Stronger

  • Tougher

  • Faster

  • Smarter

  • More Skilled

  • Hard to interact with in general

Disadvantages

  • Less Battlefield Control

  • Subjected to bad fanfic a lot more

Resignation Spongebob

“You’re the reason why art is DEAD”

Strength:

  • Average Human (40 Joules), possibly Superhuman (4.6 Kilojoules)

Durability:

  • Average Human, possibly Superhuman (4.6 Kilojoules)

Speed:

  • Average Human

Abilities:

  • Hijacking

  • Blood Manipulation

  • Sound Manipulation

  • Time Manipulation

  • Possibly Battlefield Removal

Skill:

  • D Grade

Range:

  • Average Human. Possibly Universal

Intelligence:

  • Average Human, possibly Above Average

Stamina:

  • Average Human

Weaknesses:

  • Insane Manchild

  • No combat experience

  • Relatively average stats across the board

Advantages

  • BFR might give Arnold an edge in AOE and Battlefield Control…

Disadvantages

  • …But Kirk’s Immersion can cancel this out

  • Weaker

  • Slower

  • Less Smart

  • No Combat Skill

  • Basically a manchild that acts the exact same way as how he described Nickelodeon.

Before The Verdict

Do the characters scale to the real characters?

Maybe… it leads to a similar scenario to AVA, where I don’t think it was the creators intention for Kirk or Arnold to be that strong, since they aren’t powerscalers, but it does happen within the events of the series in question, as Kirk can make the characters real and Arnold can hijack episodes while in the midst of airing. Again, I pointed it out, and I generally won’t use it, since it would probably just put the spotlight on the Nickelodeon and especially Spongebob cast, rather than these two, but it doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things for reasons I’ll explain later.

Mountain Level Kirk?

One of the feats Kirk had for Durability is surviving Atmospheric Entry, and actually surviving being sent from another planet at faster than light speeds, meaning that he would be able to survive massive Kinetic Energy at Hundreds of Megatons. While certainly impressive, not only is this the only feat anywhere near this scale Kirk was capable of, making it a clear cut outlier, but it’s unlikely Kirk has any mass at all, due to him being a spiritual alien that normally can’t be perceived by humans, which would mean that he actually can’t deliver any kinetic energy regardless of how fast he moves.

Verdict

Stats

Physically speaking, Kirk has a clear cut edge. Comparing their one speed feat, Kirk’s is 55.77 times faster than Arnold, and about 10 times as fast as the average human, while in terms of Strength and Durability, even a lower end estimate for Kirk tearing apart humans would be about 20.5 times stronger than Arnold breaking a glass bottle. Even if we use a higher end for Arnold at shattering glass, Kirk ripping out a spine would be almost 150 times stronger than this, giving him more than the ability to one shot Arnold, and that’s not even counting the dubious Kinetic Energy calc.

Really the only way I can think of to try and give Arnold an edge, is assuming that he’s comparable to Spongebob, who in turn is capable of unraveling the string theory that withholds the universe at a googol times light speed or higher, given how he can at least project his feelings on the character, but even that wouldn’t mean anything since using similar and superior Leeway of Kirk being a threat to Nickelodeon and all of it’s characters, he would similarly scale to if not above Spongebob.

Arsenal & Abilities

Abilities-wise, Kirk holds a pretty big edge here too. Even his base form is imperceptible to humans, meaning it’ll be nigh impossible for Arnold to even touch or see Kirk, and that’s not getting to his shapeshifting to increase his stealth even further. Arnold would have to deal with five other Kirk’s and six Warden’s while he has to fight alone, with Kirk and Hypsypops likely playing into or tricking him with his hatred of Nickelodeon’s lack of care for the arts, have his soul trapped, and similarly potent hijacking to counter his own. In fact, the only abilities that Arnold might have over Kirk, would be time manipulation and battlefield removal, and even then it’s possible Kirk has time manipulation too to counteract that, and Arnold has no definitive way to kill Kirk otherwise, as Kirk’s immersion can lead to similar Metafictional BFR to just break free from Arnold’s world and kill him directly.

Tertiary Factors

This is another factor Kirk takes without effort. Even before his time on Earth, Crank was a genius that was capable of likely similar experiments to his capture of souls on Earth, whereas Arnold has almost no feats of intelligence himself, besides just his knowledge on Nick and hijacking. Similarly, while both have very limited combat experience against a fighter that actually fights back, Arnold has absolutely no combat experience, while Kirk at least has a higher kill count, and is more used to using his abilities in a lethal scenario.

Conclusion

This is basically as even as it sounds. An otherworldly demonic monster fighting against an angry artist. Kirk has a massive edge in just about every factor, and Arnord can barely do anything to counteract it.



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Y̸̢͇͎̩̓̍̏͒̀̓̇̒̉̚õ̵̗̯͚̖̪͓̰̰̤̳͌͜u̵̢̠͍̻̩̱̹͇̽͂͌̏͋̍͝'̸̛͇̹̦̄̈̈͐̋̋͐̑̒r̶̪̠̞̳̝͛̑̉͜ȩ̴̤͓͙̭̘̹͉͂ ̶̛̬̮͙̹̺͓̻̳̹͐͋͑̔̇̅̊̚̚͜͝͠n̶̛͉̦̖̝̫͖̦̫̟͐̈̈́͛̽͛̕ͅe̵̡̢̜̬̣̠̻͇̙̺̙͍̞̓̈́͒̎̆̽̍̔̎͐̈́͛͘͝x̶̢̨̡̛͓̼̣̹̮̠̟̬͓̬̱̙́͆́̓̎̈́͒͌͋̽̋̃͋͝ͅͅt̵̢̝̳̺̙̠̼̺̪͇͇̰̞͚̘̘̼̔͒̉̆͑͛͊̈́̽̔̈͠͝͝.̴̨̨̡̢͚̯͚̭̌̕


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Slaughter Symphony: The Bakery VS The Grey Goo (Cookie Clicker VS Tasty Planet)

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  "Gluttony kills more than the sword." - John Wycliffe The Grey Goo , the insatiable blob consuming all in its path The Bakery , the everlasting desire to make cookies Progression is a satisfactory yet dangerous thing and can quickly lead to one disaster after another. If left unchecked, it can cause the destruction of reality as we know it, and these two show, turning the universe and more into cookies and nanobots respectively. Today, let's play God and pit Eater VS Eatery. Will the Goo be satiated by the Bakery's never-ending supply of cookies or overwhelmed as the Baker gets a special grey cookie on their tray. Let's find out on Slaughter Symphony! Before We Begin While it isn't known if the three Grey Goos from Tasty Planet, Tasty Planet: Back for Seconds and Tasty Planet Forever are the same character, for the sake of including everything, we will composite each of the three variations for the blog. They aren't really all that much different or more...
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Thor Gundersen's blogs ranked by fairness

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This is a little blog idea based on Imp’s own blog , just with Thor’s work since I am usually more entertained by it instead, and I’m more familiar with it as well. Also, generally speaking I’ll go by Nemesis’s rules in his closest fights video covering every stat and its relevance, since most of these are extremely close stat wise to a point where that alone wouldn’t matter. There are a few exceptions to this rule however. Also, spoilers for each fight, since I will cover the winner each time… I kind of have to. 19. The Eds VS The Warners Ed’s Advantages Stronger (1200 X Star Level X 750,000 Rage Boost VS Dwarf Star) Tougher (Casual Solar System Attacks + Rage Boost VS Scaling above Solar System attacks) Faster (By 20 Times) Greater Experience Edd is much smarter than the trio Eddy is evenly matched with the trio, wits wise. Resistance to Warner’s Insanity Inducement Shapeshifting powers counters Warner’s Transmutation Could counteract Warner’s Sound Manipulation with their own/Resi...
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